I just finished listening (for the second time) to the latest podcast of Doug and Shelley Garrett’s Garrett’s Games and Geekiness, which included a roundtable discussion that also included the hosts of (the ENnie award-winning) Have Games, Will Travel (Paul Tevis) and Boardgame Babylon(Eric Burgess). Anyway, as the fine wine loosened their tongues, the topic of their discussion turned towards attitudes about gaming and what different people hope to get out of playing games, it got me thinking more about some of the topics I mentioned in my blog about Competitiveness vs. Fun.

I’ve always thought that having fun is the whole point of playing games, and everybody on the podcast seemed to reinforce this idea as well. For some people, “having fun” means participating in a relaxing game with friends where the main focus is the social interaction between the players and nobody cares much who wins. For others, fun is competing tooth and nail to win at all costs. And for some of us, what we consider fun depends on the game we are playing and who we are playing it with.

The point of this blog, however, is to talk a little bit about one particular comment from that podcast. In the culmination of this discussion, Paul Tevis said, “As a game player… you are responsible for the fun of everyone at the table… Everyone is responsible for everyone else’s fun.”

Although I think I’d heard him (or somebody else) say this before, for some reason it really resonated with me this week. I realized that this is exactly how I play most games. Of course I enjoy winning, but it is the overall experience of playing that really gets me excited. And one of the things that makes board games so much fun is the fact that it is a shared experience – a social event – where players work together to have a good time.

With this being so obvious (and perhaps even taken for granted) to me that I had never really bothered putting it into words before, why then do so many other gamers out there so totally not get this? I see two main influences: video games and collectible games.

Both of these realms are centered on an individual experience or accomplishment where success is the end-all, be-all goal. Whether you are playing a “first-person shooter” on X-Box or participating in a competitive Magic tournament, the only real point is to win. Being a former MtG and Dungeons & Dragons Minis tournament player myself, I remember being almost consumed by my drive to be the best, and I was most comfortable playing when I could almost totally dominate my opponent (which I’m sure was not very fun for them).

But on the other hand, my primary background (“first love”) in gaming has been with RPG’s, and even more specifically has been in the role of Game Master. And when you boil down the role of GM to its core, it’s all about producing an entertaining game experience for your players. That’s what really gets a true GM going – seeing his players just “light up” as they unravel and participate in further building your story.

So, what do you do when people just aren’t having fun in your game group? If we can’t make some attempt to answer that question, then it would be pretty pointless to raise this discussion in the first place.

Personally, I think the first step is to have some intentional dialog about everyone’s expectations. You don’t necessarily need to call a big caucus before your first session to hammer out ground rules or anything (although that might not be a terrible idea), but when you (particularly as a game group organizer) see issues developing, you need to take advantage of that moment to clarify and discuss expectations. Ask people what they get out of playing these games and what makes it fun. Discuss the need for social interaction and a shared experience. Introduce this idea that we are all responsible for each other’s fun and see if it sinks in.

And similarly, those of us who are gaming veterans need to head off attitudes before they become problems, particularly in someone coming almost exclusively from the video game or collectibles tournament scene. Discuss with them the differences between their gaming background and boardgaming, hoping that they will see the light of why this is important. This is also true, however, in someone that is simply displaying unpleasant behaviors, whether it be excessive whining, aggressive and threatening actions, or gratuitous gloating. Dealing with this type of “problem player” is probably a lot harder, however, and may even require some extreme action (I mean like asking them to leave the group… not tarring and feathering or making them “sleep with the fishes” or anything that extreme).

Also, take time when you introduce a game and recruit players for it to not only discuss theme and mechanics, but also the “tone” of the game. For instance, when trying to introduce Tigris & Euphrates to people, you would probably want to mention that it is analytical, confrontational, and highly competitive. Particularly to new boardgamers, this will probably be more valuable than anything else in helping determine if a game might be interesting to them or not.

I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I’m sure that this needs to be more “on the radar” for every gamer, because if we aren’t all having fun, then what really is the point?